March 2: An idea..

Back to the counsellor. More 'how to deal with the FTB' situation. I run her through his supposed options and then she comes up with an idea that side-walls me.
'How about you try and include him more?'
I look at her stunned. I stutter. I stammer. Surely she's not serious.
Why on earth should I, everything screams. He doesn't want this child, he has pressed and pressed and pressed me to have an abortion, he has fed me nothing but 'shame and stigma' rubbish since I told him, he has barely asked how I am, he has been full of self-pity and has never once put Bump or I first. I have heard it all. And much more. In December, he asked me, 'How will I ever get an arranged marriage now I've fathered an illegitimate child.' Excuse me while I don't care.
I'm just so drained by it all. But fundamentally, I tell her, I am tired of being a fool. I always think things will be fine. I drove to London thinking things would be fine. I've spoken to him on so many occasion, thinking things will be fine. I do not understand these cultural problems. To me, he was a man in London, who happened to be Indian, who I got to know and liked very much. We went to the pub, got drunk, ate kebabs, talked about everything normal people talk about. Boy meets girl, girl meets boy.
But there is this 'other life' - his home life, back with the parents, back in the Asian community that I don't and never will understand and be part of. How can this other life be more important than your own child, I think. But - I'm always a fool. To him, it is more important.
'But if you let him in a bit,' the counsellor interrupts, 'then it may just swing things in Bump's and your favour. If you let him in, let him come to the scans so he can see Bump, let your barriers down just a little but, let him realise that this is going to become a reality, then you may - just may - become more influential than his family. It may swing things away from the clutches of his mother and from the whole Asian shame and stigma scene, to the reality that he will soon be a father, and that he will want to see this child and be the best dad he can be despite of the circumstances.'
But, but, but, I cry.
I look at her speechless. I'm completely flummoxed, deflated by the suggestion.
I say slowly, carefully, each syllable weighted in my mouth: 'Do you have any idea how enormous that ask is of me? Do you have any idea how hard it will be to try and befriend this man after all that has happened?'
She shrugs. 'What have you got to lose?'