April 21: Did the trick...

Made the Big C (the counsellor) laugh yesterday. I cracked a joke. Not really spoken to Father-to-be at all this week as his very-nice, tolerant, kind-hearted sister is due to have her baby so I've left him be. I said to the Big C: 'It seems that things have just settled for a while. Like a layer of volcanic ash.' Oh, how she laughed. I thought: 'Is this part of the counselling therapy too? Are counsellors trained to toot with glee when their punters crack bad jokes? Is it a way to boost people's confidence?' I might try another one next week. See if I can raise another chuckle.
But things have settled, it seems, into a sort of ... nothingness. No resolution. No decisive chats. No real outcome. Just an everyday existence of me, here with Bumpette (where else would she be, I suppose) getting on with work, with my house, with trying to book a hair cut (the trickiest task of all, it seems). While FTB is busy with work, and whatever else he does.. I don't know.
I've been missing him though. Suppose it's all waves and troughs. Sometimes I hate him. Sometimes I miss him.
Spoke to him last night. He's been missing me too, he says. But he also had some news. His extended family up north has got a 'black sheep' in it. Not a white one. Or a brown one. But a black one. This cousin of FTB's has never played by the rules. Always done what he wanted. He's been living with his - heaven forbid - white girlfriend for the past few years. And guess what, she's now got a bun in the oven too, baking away, but at slightly lower less-heated temperatures than mine. And they are not even married. Tsk, tsk.
FTB's uncle came round to tell FTB's father - his younger brother - the news. The uncle, apparently, is quite happy. He will have a shiny new grandchild to play with. Who couldn't be happy at that? Apparently, no one in the family is in uproar about it as this cousin was always 'the black sheep' who 'messed-up'. Charming. I've often heard about this chap, and took FTB's word for it that he was a bit of a bad egg. Now I'm just thinking, 'Crikey, Mr Black Sheep is the only one with any brains and balls in the whole family. I bet he thinks the rest of them are a right bunch of Conservatively-minded trolls'.
FTB relayed all this to me and then said something along the lines of: 'It's not fair. How come my family accept it when it's Mr Black Sheep. But they won't accept a mess-up from me, as I am Mr Responsible, Mr Older Brother, Mr Do-Things-Properly. I'm not allowed.'
Not allowed? Ok fine. A 30-something-year-old who is 'not allowed'. A man who holds down a serious job, has a house, pays a mortgage, says he is 'not allowed'. I'm not missing him anymore. Our chat did the trick nicely.