April 25: Committees

Desperate times. I am still on letter 'A' of my 50,000-strong baby name book. At this rate, he / she will be called 'A very bad name'.
Mum's garden. Blazing sunshine. Glass of Pimms. Middle-sister takes charge of the book. This child will be named by committee.

Sister: Afrika?
Me: That's where it was probably conceived. Maybe not.
(Stern look from mother)
Sister: Ambria?
Me: Sounds like Ambrosia Rice Pudding.
Sister: Achtung? Agoo? Adiv?
Me: A div? Love it. Great name.
Sister: Alvin?
Me: Simon and Theodore? No, he is not a chipmunk.
Sister: Beaver?
Me: No thanks. You can't call a child 'Beaver'.
Sister: Berk? Bjorn?
Mum: Sounds like the Abba singer.
Sister: Burl?
Me: Sounds like hurl.
Sister: Churl then?
Me: Uh, no.
Sister: Devon?
Me: Ambrosia Devon Custard.
Sister (laughing): Dingbang. Call him Dingbang.
Me: No.
Sister: Dirk?
Me: Really?
Sister: Egor? Elvis?
Me: Fantastic. I'll call this child Elvis.