April 28: Gordon's gaff

Uh oh. Gordon's done a gaff. Not a guff - silent but deadly. But a gaff - unfortunately for him, not silent but very very deadly. Note to Gordon: Don't make nasty comments with your microphone on. In fact, did your mother never tell you 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.' He's out of the running now. Mrs Bigot has got him by the throat. Cameron's going to lynch him. Never mind. He can retire, and save the third world from poverty, which is what he's always wanted to do anyway. Or open a cafe. Gordon's Gaff. Nice ring to it.